White Gold, Issues of Mahr, False Oath

Q 1. We are all aware that wearing Gold is declared Haram for Muslim men, my question is, are there any instructions on wearing ‘White Gold” in the Shari’ah for Muslim men? Your response to the above would be highly appreciated. (Amir Nawaz, Dubai, UAE.)

A 1. There are a number of Ahadith that indicate that the Prophet -peace be upon him- forbade the males of his Ummah from wearing pure golden jewelry and pure silken garments. Beside the jewelry the Muslim jurists also forbid men to use golden pen, golden watches, gold cigarette cases and lighters, golden cutlery. All these things are forbidden, unless the amount of gold in them was insignificant or they were not golden, or gold plated with a very small amount of gold.

There are many Ahadith on this subject. Let me just mention as few. It is reported by ‘Ali -may Allah be pleased with him- that the Prophet -peace be upon him- took some silk in his right hand and some gold in his left hand and then he said, “These two are haram for the males among my followers.” (Sunan al-Tirmidhi, Hadith no. 1642 and also al-Nasa’I, Hadith no. 5170. The Ahadith do not make any distinction between the yellow gold and the white gold. Since the general word “gold” is used, we can say that all types of gold -i.e. natural and pure gold- are forbidden for men. They are permissible for women. Men are allowed to use silver but not gold. This is the command of Allah and it is given to us through the Prophet -peace be upon him. We should observe all the commands whether they are in the Qur’an or in the authentic Sunnah..

Q 2. I would like to know what is the concept of Mahr in Islam? What should be the Mahr for someone living in California, USA? I am getting married soon and my in-laws would like the Mahr to be set according to the Shari’ah. (Adnan Ali)

A 2. Mahr is a wife’s right, which becomes binding upon the husband once the marriage is contracted. It is fully payable after the consummation of marriage but if divorce occurs before the consummation of marriage then half of the Mahr is required to be paid unless the wife or her guardians waive it. Allah says in the Qur’an, “And give women (on marriage) their dower as a free gift; but if they, of their own good pleasure, remit any part of it to you, take it and enjoy it with right good cheer.” (Al-Nisa’ 4:4) “Those among them (i.e. your wives) whom you enjoy give them their dowers as determined. But there is no blame on you, if after a dower is determined, you mutually agree to vary” (al-Nisa’ 4:24) “If you divorce them before consummation and you have fixed a dower for them then half of the dower is due to them, unless they forgive it or it is forgiven by him in whose hand is the marriage tie… (Al Baqarah 2:237)

Mahr is very important in Islamic marriage. Allah has used the word “faridah” for it. It means something fixed, decided and obligatory. It is obligatory on the husband to pay Mahr to his wife unless she expressly, by her own will and without any pressure, tells her husband that he does not have to pay it, or she returns the amount of Mahr to him. Mahr belongs to the wife and it is to be given to her only. It is not the property of her parents or her guardian. No one can forgive the husband to pay the Mahr except the wife herself or in case she did not go to her husband and the marriage ended without consummation then in that situation her guardian can also forgive the Mahr on her behalf. If a husband dies without paying Mahr to his wife, it will be an outstanding debt on him and it must be paid before the distribution of his inheritance among his heirs. Mahr is not a bride price. It is a woman’s right and it signifies a husband’s love and appreciation for his wife. In the Qur’an it is called “sadaq” which means a token of friendship. It is also called “nihlah” which means “a nice gift or present.” Mahr also signifies a husband’s commitment to take care of his wife’s financial needs (nafaqah). According to Islam, it is a husband’s responsibility to provide for his wife and his household.

There is a common misconception among some Muslims that Mahr is to be paid at the time of divorce. Mahr has nothing to do with divorce. It is for marriage, not for divorce. It, however, becomes immediately due at the time of divorce, if it was not paid before. People often make part of Mahr advanced (mu’ajjal) and part of it postponed (mu’akkhar or muwajjal). The advanced Mahr should be paid at the time of Nikah while the postponed should be paid later. The wife has a right to demand it from her husband. The husband should not feel bad, if his wife demands her Mahr. A wife should also not feel threatened that her husband may leave her if he pays her all her Mahr. All these notions belong to various cultures but they have nothing to do with the Shari’ah.

According to the Shari’ah, the Mahr should also be reasonable. There is no fixed amount of Mahr in the Shari’ah. It should be given according to the financial status of the husband and according to the time and place. We do not have to apply the Mahr of 7th century in the 20th century, nor the Mahr of India or Pakistan should be applied in the United States. As the financial conditions of the people in different time and places change, so the amount of Mahr can be determined accordingly. However, it is a principle of the Shari’ah that the Mahr should not be too expensive. It is wrong to declare large amount of Mahr at the time of marriage to show off or to boast. Some time bride’s family put pressure on the groom and his family for a large amount of Mahr so that they may show their pride to their relatives and friends boasting that their daughter was married for a big Mahr. Some time groom declares a big amount and secretly thinks that this is just a commitment on paper. People are often heard saying, “Write

whatever you want, no one asks and no one pays.” This is a play with the rules of Allah. Muslims should only commit what they are really capable of paying and what they intend to pay. It is haram to enjoy relations with a wife and then deny her the Mahr when she demands. Q 3. What could be done to obtain forgiveness after swearing a partially false statement on the Qur’an? The person has prayed and apologized for it. Is there anything else that should be done? A 3. Making a false statement with an oath in the name of Allah or by placing the hand on the Qur’an is a major sin. Allah says in the Qur’an, “Allah will not hold you accountable for that which is unintentional in your oaths, but He will hold you accountable for your deliberate oaths. The expiation of such oath is feeding of ten poor persons on a scale of the average for the food of your families; or clothe them; or give a slave his freedom. If it is beyond your means, fast for three days. That is the expiation for the oaths you have sworn. Guard your oaths. Thus Allah does make clear to you His signs, that you may be grateful.” (al-Ma’idah 5:89)

The Prophet -peace be upon him- warned Muslims from the terrible consequences of making false oaths. The person who deliberately makes a false oath should repent and ask Allah’s forgiveness. He should also make the Kaffarah (expiation) that is given in the ayah mentioned above. Either feed ten poor people by giving them a day’s meal of the same standard as you eat yourself. We estimate that at least $10-15 per person should be spent. If one cannot afford then one should observe fasting for three days.

One must not take a false oath simply because someone is putting pressure. However an oath taken under compulsion is not a deliberate oath and its sin will be on the person who forced the oath taker.