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October 3, 2003
A B C D: American-Born Clear-Headed Desis
Born and brought up in America, Fatima, a teenager daughter of Pak-American parents described her cultural identity as ABCD: American-Born Confused Desi.
Ruefully she observed: I am as confused as is my cultural identity. I am a living paradox. I may not be schizophrenic, but I do get the feeling of having a split personality. I was born here, went to school here, stood out in academics as well as in sports, and now I am in college. I have never lived in Pakistan for any length of time - merely visited Rawalpindi along with my parents to attend a cousin’s marriage. I can barely utter a few words of Urdu and Punjabi and can’t even pronounce Rawalpindi the way my parents and relations do.
I have been brought up as an American by my very liberal and ‘emancipated’ parents. I have therefore every reason to identify myself with Americans, but Americans, call me an Asian and do not fully identify with me. And, my Pakistani cousins consider me an American. That is why I call myself an America-Born Confused Desi. I am not comfortable in my own skin. I do not know which place to call my home.
Fortunately, the acute crisis of identity of Fatima is experienced only by a small percentage of the children of Pakistani immigrants. Majority of them describe themselves as Pakistani-Americans and demonstrate a sense of pride in their lineage, descent and, more particularly, in their religion and culture. Their knowledge of Islam is often far better than that of their counterparts in Pakistan. For, they are nurtured in a questioning milieu and accept only rational interpretations of Islamic precepts.
Credit for this goes mainly to their parents, but a notable contribution is also made by an enlightened, far-sighted Muslim community and the fast expanding number of mosques and Islamic centers. Of course, the Muslim community of America has its share of obscurantist mullahs, but the Imams are generally well-educated and enlightened. Right now the number of mosques exceeds 1,200 and they are located throughout the length and breadth of the country. This enormous expansion has taken place largely over the past couple of decades.
The total number of Muslims in America is over six million, 40 % of them are black Muslims. Pakistani community has also been fast expanding. It would reach the figure of half a million in a few more years.
Generally speaking, the American society casts a magnetic spell on the different cultural streams flowing into its fast moving cultural river. Within a generation or two, traces and angularities of the original culture tend to disappear like water in sand. It is like a salt pit; anything falling into it turns into salt.
This scenario, however, applies to immigrants mainly of European descent. In their case, the pre-existing religious and cultural affinity being quite pronounced, assimilation takes place quickly. But, there never was and never will be a single American way of life. A paradox is thus embedded in the American society. Diversity resists assimilation; yet, diversity is necessary to keep the society alive and thriving. Matter of fact, the American system does not oppose diversity; it fosters pluralism.
There being no composite culture with a set scale of values governing both the private and public lives of citizens, one has to view the cultural scene from two different angles, particularly as public lives co-exist alongside private preferences and even racial prejudices.
All walks of life, creeds or colors intermingle in public commerce and at work, only to return thereafter to private lives and exclusive associations of family, friends, religious and cultural identities. Such is the American free marketplace.
The open secret of its success, when compared with several troubled places in the world, is the presence of a common law. By defining every citizen as equal, the American rule of law distances itself from ethnocentricity. More importantly, the common sense of justice governs only the marketplace - the bazaar. It cannot and does not govern how one individual should think of another, how he should conduct himself at home and in family and community gatherings.
The only time the law interferes with private lives is when they interfere with the life of the bazaar, when any group is excluded or afforded a preferential treatment in the market place.
In the bazaar, the grasp of an individual is as long as his reach. If you attend a meeting of The Indus Entrepreneurs - TiE - you would immediately notice the heights reached by the professionals of the Indo-Pak subcontinent chiefly because of the operation of the concept of equality in the marketplace.
The cultural diversities even among the members of this organization cannot escape attention. But that is accepted as part of their private lives to be kept at a distance from interactions in the marketplace.
This very value system, this very distinction, is being pointed out by many in the case of Clinton’s conduct in the Lewinsky case. His private aberration, it is repeatedly mentioned, should not be allowed to cast a shadow on his outstanding public life and performance. Women, in particular, point out that what he did for women in his public life should outweigh - in any value judgment on him - what he did in private to some women.
In spite of this distinction, new immigrants or vulnerable minorities keep mentioning the societal pressures for conformity. That is not bad at all to a great extent. The American values of honesty, truthfulness, hard work, trust, reliability and consideration for others in the marketplace, should be embraced sincerely by all immigrants and their children from our part of the world. The Americans practice what we preach. Our marketplace is replete with shady deals, corruption and dishonesty, while many practitioners of such misdeeds in public life would be found meticulously observing religious rituals in their private lives!
The American basic precept of the freedom of thought and action of the individual has, unfortunately, often got stretched to illogicality, to havoc and disaster in private lives particularly in respect of gender relations and family values.
The American lifestyle in this respect constantly conflicts with our own value system. That is where lies the significance of the role of the parents and the community. While the former First Lady, Hillary Clinton, was emphasizing the fact that it takes a village to bring up decent children, her husband was having escapades with Monica and other women of easy virtue.
There is no doubt that it takes a village to instill appropriate values in children’s minds. Pockets of 1200 such religious and cultural centers, Hillary’s idiomatic villages, have already been set up by a conscientious and farsighted Muslim community to ensure the availability of the requisite facilities.
If Fatima’s parents did not avail themselves of these facilities, if they remained enamored of the glitter of the society’s rhinestones, they have, indeed, done a great injustice to her and are responsible for her mental confusion and conflict.
A much heavier responsibility rests on the shoulders of Pak-American parents in this society in bringing up their children than it does in Pakistan. They are up against the peer pressures on their children. Constant vigilance is the price they have to pay for the healthy upbringing of their children.
Fortunately, bulk of them have not committed a moral and intellectual disarmament. They appear wary of producing ABCDs and are endeavoring to bring up children carrying the best strains of both societies. When in their teens, such children could proudly declare to their peers that for them the ABCD sands for: American Born Clear-headed Desis. They were nurtured on the best of both cultures. They believe in and practice the marketplace ethics of America and the family values of Pakistan.
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