The military take over in Pakistan on October 12 and the subsequent events -the apprehensions and the uncertainty as to the shape of things to come- have all been as serious as disconcerting. But, the scenario has not been altogether without its amusing, dramatic and entertaining side.

To begin with, the General who grabbed power appears to be finding time to address the nation and take it into confidence only past mid night; the first time around 3.00 in the morning. That is perhaps the best time to exchange confidences: ask any married or common law couple. That is also the best time for the policy makers in Washington taking into account the time differential.

PM Nawaz Sharif, who did not tire of mentioning and repeating ad nauseam, like our Qawals, the “heavy mandate” the electorate had given him, was dismissed ingloriously along with his heavy mandate and all his cronies. The act he tried to put on to hang on to power by prohibiting the army chief’s plane from landing in Karachi turned sour.

The disclosure in the wee hour of the (sky) high drama had all the elements of a sensational play -suspense, the touch and go crisis for the General and 200 passenger, excited phone calls and orders from both sides, quick commando action, and an escape from disaster in the nick of time -an ideal material for an action movie. Only that it actually happened. That the General remained unruffled should be credited to his training as a commando.

In a bid to beat the General to the draw, Nawaz Sharif had issued only hours earlier the orders sacking and replacing him by his own confidante and clan member, Gen. Ziauddin, irrespective of his seniority or notoriety as ISI chief.

Unfortunately for this soldier of fortune, the entire army stood behind their C-in-C. Only the security personnel under his direct command accepted his writ along with the police force whose chief, IG, Rana Maqbool, tried to block the plane from landing at the Karachi airport. In Nawaz Sharif’s persosnalized and politicized administration, Maqbool and Shahbaz Sharif being brothers-in-law counted much towards the Rana’s important Sindh assignment. And, of course he had to stand by the interest of his clan. Now he will sink with it too.

Nawaz Sharif & Co. ordered the General’s plane to land at Nawabshah in Sindh where the PM’s jet and security team kept waiting to take the General in custody. Confident that his scheme wouldn’t fail, the Prime Minister was preparing to leave for the TV station to address the nation about the action taken by him to save the country from an imminent misfortune. Presently he learned to his sorrow that it was he who was destined to face a severe misfortune. His ill deeds had come home to roost.

We in Southern California were buffeted by a magnitude 7.0 trembler a few days later. Being a rolling earthquake, despite its high magnitude, it caused little damage to life or property. The trembler too elected the wee hour of the morning to give a jolt to the sleepy heads. It bore a striking similarity to the timing and benign nature of Gen. Musharraf’s take over.

The people in Pakistan heaved a sigh of relief over the exit of a regime which had grown thoroughly unpopular, and the people in Southern California had, likewise, reason enough to thank God for being saved by the rolling nature of the earthquake.

Benazir, our two-time Prime Minister, undoubtedly gifted with charisma, but given to a compulsive proclivity for corruption and a well manifested incompetence, came out with the most naïve and amusing statement. She said she would reach Pakistan in the next ten days or so to help Gen. Musharraf in the administration of the country. She said she had sent a message to him and was awaiting a reply. Perhaps she expects the General to stand hat in hand at the airport to receive her and present to her the reins of power in a silver platter.

On one of her numerous pilgrimages to the State Department in Washington, she had asserted that she was “the only leader who could save Pakistan in the prevalent crisis.” How very thoughtful and patriotic of her!

A few days after Benazir, came another self-acclaimed leader, an antagonist of Bhuttos, but without their charisma or the opportunity to prove his incorruptibility. He embarrassed his hosts by declaring at a public function in Washington: “You people ask where is the leader who can replace Nawaz Sharif. Can’t you see that the leader is standing right before you”.

Benazir’s offer to Gen. Musharraf is no less amusing. She must be cursing Pakistani newspapers that they keep mentioning the $1 billion of public money that she had stolen during her inglorious two-term rules. She keeps claiming that Nawaz Sharif’s hatchet men and spin doctors have pinned this false label on her, although she and her husband are innocent like newly born babies. Her conviction for corruption in a High Court was simply an aberration of justice, she contends, maneuvered by Nawaz Sharif.

The Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum, Nawaz Sharif and Benazir Bhutto, worked like the Bonnie and Clyde team in robbing the nation dry.

If Clyde is caught, Bonnie cannot be far behind to follow suit. But Bonnie thinks otherwise. A fool prefers to live in his/her paradise than face the reality.

Another gentleman is also putting up a sideshow. Ejazul Haq, Vice President of Muslim League, having lived in the wilderness of power for a long period of time, has started dreaming of donning the PM’s mantel as his party is in the majority in the parliament. His credentials: son of a former General and President, and banking experience. Full stop.

In a feudal society where dynasties rule, Ejazul Haq was rewarded by Nawaz Sharif for being the son of his mentor ‘Shaheed’ Zia. And why not, when the sons of other luminaries, like Bhutto’s progeny, and the sons of Khakhan Abbasi, Akhter Abdur Rehman and Junejo, to name but a few, were rewarded for the deeds or misdeeds of their fathers. Nawaz Sharif too is regarded as the political son of Gen. Zia Politics had thus become a children’s play to grab lollipops.

Ghalib had probably written for just such a scenario:

Bazecha-i-atfal hai dunya meray agay

Hota hai shab-o-rooz tamasha meray agay!