The Pakistani Identity Crisis
By Sharmeen Hassan
Age: 20
University of California
Berkeley
(Major: Molecular and Cell Biology
Career Goals: Biotechnology)

During lunch time in junior high, as I ate my daal chawal, I got weird looks from my fellow classmates. I wore shalwar kameez for cultural day in elementary school, and kids asked me why I was wearing “M.C. Hammer” pants. In Pakistan, my cousins made fun of me for not being able to speak Urdu correctly. They don’t understand why I don’t like cricket. When I got my hair cut from an expensive salon, my relatives asked me what happened to my long hair, as if it were some sort of tragic accident.

This is a small portion of my battle with identity in the US, and it is representative of the confusion that many second generation Pakistani Americans face in this country. As a project for a course at UC Berkeley, I chose to explore the complexities of cultural identity in the United States from a research perspective. As a first-generation Pakistani-American myself, I have also struggled to figure out where I fall in the diverse cultural makeup in the US.

It is difficult to generalize the experience of Pakistani American kids growing up in America. But, as is true with all immigrant experiences, it is difficult to be connected to a culture when one is sandwiched in the middle of two. Second generation Pakistani-Americans range from being confused about their identity and place in society to being knowledgeable and inquisitive about their cultural heritage. Some issues that shape Pakistani American cultural identity are the conflicting messages of American society and those of the Pakistani community. These have led to confusion and stress, the pursuit of knowledge about cultural heritage and religion, formation of closer connections with other second generation Desis, and a reflection on the influence of parents and community.

Growing up in America as a second generation Pakistani can be a testing period in one’s life while at the same time a tremendous learning experience about self, culture, religion and history. Being immersed in the midst of two cultures at times causes confusion and causes one to question their own cultural identity. There are many issues that the second generation Pakistani faces in his quest to find his unique cultural identity.

From a young age, there is nothing a child wants more than to fit in with his peers. Research has shown that in these developmental years, some Pakistani American children become ashamed of their culture. Most of us can identify with those days in our childhood when we were too embarrassed to go with our mothers to the grocery store, who were conveniently sporting the latest in shalwar kameez fashion. Children tend to feel embarrassed or self-conscious in these situations because Mom isn’t dressed like all the other moms there, making the child stand out when all he wants to do is blend in. According to much research, however, this reaction is normal. Author, Mr. Kurwa says that all ethnicities ¾ black, South Asians and Asians ¾ go through a phase where they are ashamed of their culture. However, as Kurwa noted, and as I have experienced myself, we learn to appreciate our culture with age.
Even within our own local Pakistani community, we ran from our culture during elementary school and our early adolescence ¾ whether it was dreading the thought of eating daal for dinner, or wearing shalwar kameez at the upcoming daavat. Looking at the lives of me and my friends, however, this changed dramatically as we matured into teenagers and entered the college arena. This trend is apparent in most cultures, says Kurwa.

“They are meeting others of the same generation and creating a culture for themselves in college. I give a lot of talks, in colleges, to South Asian organization, and I see how warmly they embrace their culture. They’ll come up to me and say ‘You know, I hated Desi food when I was living at home but now I love it,’” Kurwa notes.

Nonetheless, not everyone thinks that growing up as a second generation Pakistani is as simple as Kurwa makes it seem. With the notorious label of ABCD - American-Born-Confused-Desi - second-generation Pakistanis are forced to believe they are somewhat of an enigma, and much of their innate confusion arises from others telling them what they are: confused.

From a young age, second generation kids receive contradictory messages about diversity from American society. They are told to proudly display their diversity as a symbolic gesture, but on the other hand are told to assimilate into mainstream American culture, such as talking, thinking and acting like an American.

In addition to the conflicting messages from society they also receive conflicting messages from their parents. These conflicts can range from diet to dating; from struggles for individuality and independence to struggles to belong to the collective group; from being ‘too’ Pakistani to being ‘too’ American; and from balancing respect and obedience and at the same time being assertive and inquisitive. Oftentimes, to cope with such conflict, they avoid close friendships, instead immersing themselves in their education. In the end, the inability to deal with these conflicts and high stress disposes second generation Pakistani Americans to resort to the use of drugs/alcohol as a coping strategy to relieve tension or to reduce stress, studies show.

Another way Pakistani Americans have escaped their own identity crisis is by adopting another identity completely. Though little research has been done on South Asian assimilation to the United States in this particular regard, this trend has been seen in both Philipinos and Asians. This explains why many Desi youth, mainly boys, try to act “ghetto” and “gangster.” Although this is generally true of most immigrant groups, it is different for Pakistanis because their religion and culture do not always permit them to engage in activities such as dating or drinking. The manner in which Pakistanis dress and other social activities separate them from their peers. Due to these, they turn to education, drugs, isolation, rebellion or associations with other ethnic groups; anything that will fill the void of their dissimilarities from ‘everyone else’.

Fortunately, this identity crisis is experienced only by a small percentage of the children of Pakistani immigrants. Pakistan Link columnist Arif Hussaini asserts that ABCD should actually stand for American Born Clear-Headed Desi. “They demonstrate a sense of pride in their lineage, descent and, more particularly, in their religion and culture. Their knowledge of Islam is often far better than that of their counterparts in Pakistan” (Hussaini). A reason for this is because they are brought up to ask questions and accept only coherent and believable interpretations of Islam. However, the societal pressure for conformity isn’t necessarily that bad. “The American values of honesty, truthfulness, hard work, reliability and consideration for others in the marketplace, should be embraced by all immigrants and their children from our part oft the world,” Hussaini says. The combina tion of American and Pakistani values gives second generation Pakistani-Americans the best of both cultures; the ethics of America and the family values of Pakistan.

In closing, I have grown up as a Pakistani-American, and I feel that it is our mission as good people and good Muslims to reflect not any specific culture, but to reflect the best of humanity. Whether these values arise from Pakistani culture or American culture, immigrant children are blessed in that we have the opportunity to take the best of what we are exposed to, and to reflect it in our own humanity. At the end of the day, our identity is stripped down to what we individually contribute to our community. There is no label or word to describe what Pakistani American truly means. It is what we make of it, and we are lucky to have such a power.


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------